Lookin' ahead

At the Co-op today, while picking up what will be the last bag of hen food (chickens anyone? they are quite nice birds and are wise to wild dogs and raccoons) Theo, on impulse, bought a $25 (on sale) box of firecrackers. You see, our people from "the 6" were here for a visit, and he thought that there was no better way to show them some fun country life (when there is no snow) other than a good fireworks display. And, it was our way to welcome winter and celebrate the solstice, hooray for days getting longer!

It was perhaps not the best night (I mean weather) for a good display - some slipped away in the fog - but you could not beat the temperature and the darkness for fireworks.  In the summer we go to the Greig-Clark's for July 1st and we get home so late it is practically the next day, celebrating winter is way easier on the sleep schedule, and this winter they don't melt away in the snow half exploded. Anyway, it was a bit sad for me, as I had decided to stay inside and watch through the family room window. This turned out to be the wrong decision. You see, I was tired, mostly from swimming, and I didn't think I had enough energy to get out there.

The first set of crackers went off to the left of my vision, my chair was out of reach, and my phone on the kitchen table. Theo came in to see what I thought, and he was full of remorse that I could not see them. So off he went saying "I am going to go light the rest of them". And so he did. The kids loved it, I saw some, but most of them went over the top of the window and all I could think was if we burn down this house we have nowhere to go. But it didn't burn down, and the kids had a blast - they looked like a bunch of pagans dancing around the fire - certainly not observing the safety rules we observe in July :)

So that made me feel better. It also made me think that we really should make the winter solstice our new year. When we were at my parents' house on Sunday, my father made a toast "to a better New Year" and it didn't strike me until later what his true meaning was. A better New Year, for us all, because what happened to me shook everyone in my family to the core. And now, I realized tonight, that I have to get back into life. I can not sit and let the fireworks happen without me.

Although recovery is my full-time job right now, I have to do more than just that. I have to cook some food, help out others, do things with my kids, go for a hike. I need to seek out those in a similar situation to me because my life must go on and I have a lot of questions about what that life looks like. I have gathered some sage advice from the people that I have met so far; mind my skin, snow sucks, I'll give up my slider board and training wheels soon and laugh a lot. All great advice for the start of my new year.