Wednesday 14 October 2015

Brave face

This is from last week, Friday October 9th

Today I have not been able to find my brave face.  Most days I can.  I look at what needs to happen in order for me to be stronger and more independent, and I do it. I know that there are several reasons why that brave face won’t surface today.  Everyone here says that infections just make you feel like crap.  So that is reason #1.  My 3rd UTI and 4th round of antibiotics, so a UTI can only be ignored for so long and then antibiotics are a must. Prior to the invention of antibiotics, UTIs were the number one killer of para and quadriplegics. 

Not only does the infection make me feel awful all over, it also makes my leg spasms worse and my legs more uncooperative than usual.  It also makes me cry – and the tears come pretty much anytime someone talks to me.  Reason #2 might be me having to make a decision about a wheelchair and not knowing how. I am comparing apples to bananas here and I don’t  like it.  Retailer has not been helpful – hopefully that changes.

Also a big weekend for me is in store.  My whole family is coming for Thanksgiving, and it’s my birthday on Sunday.  I am afraid of not being able to keep up and do fun things which I want to do so badly.  I am also afraid of not being able to find my brave face even though I really want to, really badly.   So as I go to bed, I think that tomorrow will be better.  Those nasty bacteria will be stomped on by the antibiotics and things will seem clearer – I hope.

1 comment:

  1. Sorry to hear of the discomfort -- a real pain-in-the-unmentionables. :(

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